1 00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:12,113 Why couldn't she have been a fucking smoker? 2 00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:15,992 This has nothing to do with her being in such wonderful shape. 3 00:01:16,284 --> 00:01:19,579 The cause of our trouble was our inability to come up with a drug... 4 00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:23,458 short of paint thinner, that would be at least somewhat novel to her system. 5 00:01:24,125 --> 00:01:26,169 She's built up a tolerance to everything. 6 00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:29,422 A tolerance? She's taking her fucking afternoon nap. 7 00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:30,757 Shut up, Igby! 8 00:01:31,549 --> 00:01:32,550 We're fine. 9 00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:50,276 It's all the fucking tennis. 10 00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:03,832 It's almost 6:00. 11 00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:17,470 Igby. 12 00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:23,536 They'll do it. I don't know what it is, but I know they'll do it. 13 00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:27,415 Let's all drink to Bay State... - Let's drink to Julia. Have you met her yet? 14 00:03:27,499 --> 00:03:29,459 If she's anything like her sister... 15 00:03:29,959 --> 00:03:34,756 We'll drink to Johnny and Julia and Bay State Power and love and happiness and... 16 00:03:35,131 --> 00:03:37,092 Here you are. 17 00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:39,636 For the love of Pete, it's the Witch and Dopey. 18 00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:43,890 I've never been up here before. It's awfully quaint, isn't it? 19 00:03:43,973 --> 00:03:45,058 We like it. 20 00:03:45,433 --> 00:03:48,019 Dad, when are you going back to work? 21 00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:50,814 Soon. 22 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,233 You're not really sick anymore. - No. 23 00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:55,902 Not really sick. 24 00:03:55,985 --> 00:03:59,948 But not completely well. Not yet, I don't think. 25 00:04:01,157 --> 00:04:03,702 When will you be better? - In the spring. 26 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:06,830 The spring? - I'm no good in the winter. 27 00:04:07,288 --> 00:04:08,957 These gray days... 28 00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:11,334 they're so sad. 29 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,962 What about next winter? 30 00:04:38,319 --> 00:04:42,741 Jason, tell me, dearest, are you planning on bathing this week? 31 00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:44,576 I beg your pardon? 32 00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:46,745 It seems to have slipped your mind last week. 33 00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:49,247 But I'm not dirty. - No... 34 00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:54,502 dirty, I mean, you've done nothing that'd make you dirty for quite some time now. 35 00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:58,548 But you do reek, darling, of tobacco, from your... 36 00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:01,926 yellow toenails to your yellow fingernails to your yellow teeth... 37 00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:03,762 to your yellow hair. 38 00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:06,848 Sorry to have offended. 39 00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:08,308 Me? 40 00:05:10,018 --> 00:05:11,728 A piece of gristle. 41 00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:18,026 Not on an empty stomach, dear. 42 00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:27,077 Excuse me. 43 00:05:56,189 --> 00:06:00,235 Boys, your mother was quite right to have chastised me. 44 00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:04,322 Good personal hygiene... 45 00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:09,077 is one of the most essential disciplines a man can have... 46 00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:11,287 in this world. 47 00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:13,832 Chin-chin! 48 00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:30,390 Don't indulge him anymore. 49 00:06:30,432 --> 00:06:33,018 How can anyone be afraid of a clown? 50 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,602 Just leave him. 51 00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:38,648 C'mon, old man. This is no way to be on your birthday. 52 00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:42,277 Everybody's gone home. 53 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:49,284 There's nobody left downstairs. It's just you and me, now. 54 00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:53,580 Hey. 55 00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:58,251 It's just you and me, old man. 56 00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:25,987 If Heaven is such a wonderful place... 57 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:30,492 then how was getting crucified such a big fucking sacrifice? 58 00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:40,502 Mrs. Slocumb, it's wonderful to see you again. 59 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,003 I hope you drove. 60 00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:45,340 No more beautiful place on God's earth... 61 00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:47,676 than Connecticut at Christmas time. 62 00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:50,845 Oliver drove me down from the city. - Please. 63 00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:54,683 Congratulations on Oliver. 64 00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:57,310 I hear he's already established himself... 65 00:07:57,394 --> 00:08:00,397 as the cream of the Columbia freshman crop. 66 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:04,567 We do take a lot of pride in seeing our boys succeed. 67 00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:07,362 But of course, we're here to discuss... 68 00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:08,905 Igby. 69 00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:16,246 Honor roll? You flunked everything. Not even a 'D' in art this time. 70 00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:19,082 Did you enjoy making me look like a fool? - I dunno. 71 00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:20,375 You don't know? 72 00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:23,545 Poor Mrs. Slocumb doesn't have a clue what old Igby is up to. 73 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:26,548 Dithering, foolish lady. Did you enjoy that? - I dunno. 74 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:28,758 I beg your pardon? - No! 75 00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:32,220 Then what are you? A pathological liar? 76 00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:33,888 I don't know. 77 00:08:33,972 --> 00:08:36,516 You don't know? Liar! You little liar! 78 00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:40,895 How dare you! And where were you when your brother was flunking out of school? 79 00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:42,480 I was in college. 80 00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:44,691 Igby is not my fault. 81 00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:49,195 Did you even, for a second... 82 00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:51,364 think about how this reflects upon me? 83 00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:52,991 No. 84 00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:59,414 I am not going to go through this again. You had a chance. You flunked everything. 85 00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:01,708 That's almost impressive. It really is. 86 00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:04,127 You know what's going to happen to you now, mister? 87 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:08,423 Do you know where your sterling performance is going to take you now... 88 00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:11,217 little man? 89 00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:15,221 Choate? 90 00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:19,851 Cadet report! - Oh, shit! 91 00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,187 Second watch is early. 92 00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:25,231 Lights out! 93 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,902 In your bunks! 94 00:09:29,319 --> 00:09:31,363 You heard him. Let's go! 95 00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:35,658 All right, Mr. Patterson, lights out! 96 00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:39,412 What part of "lights out" don't you understand? 97 00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:43,917 Turtle! The spray! - In your bunk, Mistletoe! 98 00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:52,926 All right, Fredrick, you know the rules. 99 00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:56,888 Turtle! 100 00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:02,143 Both of you, lights out! In your bunks! 101 00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:33,133 This is your godfather, Igby. Are you listening to me? 102 00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:37,303 This is the best thing that could have happened to you, military school. 103 00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:41,266 To get out of that comfortable world you were raised in. Strike out on your own. 104 00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:45,270 You know those East Coast country club schools do you no good in the real world. 105 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:48,314 It might be tough now, but it's gonna make you tough. 106 00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:51,651 Unlike the rest of your coddled contemporaries. 107 00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:53,111 Fire! 108 00:11:04,039 --> 00:11:06,708 And Igby goes down. 109 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,711 I bet you've made some real buddies. 110 00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:11,588 Haven't you? 111 00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:14,799 Igby has buddies. 112 00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:16,968 Haven't you got buddies? - Many. 113 00:11:17,052 --> 00:11:19,763 You have that buddy with the cute little name. 114 00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:23,558 That little buddy, Tortoise. - Turtle. 115 00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:26,019 Turtle? 116 00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:27,270 Turtle. 117 00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,605 He was my best buddy. 118 00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:31,399 Then his rifle backfired and blew his face off. 119 00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:34,569 We all learned a lesson about weapon maintenance that day. 120 00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,196 Why didn't the school inform me? 121 00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:37,864 It wasn't the school's fault. 122 00:11:38,156 --> 00:11:39,616 They were great about it. 123 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,826 Paid for the dry-cleaning and everything. 124 00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:43,370 Not because they had to... 125 00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:46,623 but because it was the right thing to do. 126 00:11:48,083 --> 00:11:52,253 I believe that certain people in life are meant to fall by the wayside... 127 00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:56,091 to serve as warnings for the rest of us. Signposts along the way. 128 00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:57,217 To where? 129 00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:00,887 Success. 130 00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:06,476 Our father would be a "slippery when schizophrenic" sign, for instance. 131 00:12:08,687 --> 00:12:10,605 Along the highway of life. 132 00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:14,776 This summer... 133 00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:17,404 I want you to come and work for me. 134 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:21,908 Work with my crew. Renovate some of my New York properties. 135 00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:25,829 You up to bein' exploited by your old pal this summer? 136 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:33,378 What do you say? - Stay at your Hamptons summer house? 137 00:12:33,545 --> 00:12:36,256 On the weekends. - I'm your man, sir. 138 00:12:36,381 --> 00:12:37,757 Good! 139 00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:43,096 When are you headed back to the academy? - 0700 tomorrow morning, sir. 140 00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:13,752 Sorry. 141 00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:30,101 "This letter is to inform you, the recipient, that my son... 142 00:13:30,602 --> 00:13:32,645 "...the bearer of this letter... 143 00:13:32,687 --> 00:13:36,733 "...has permission to use my credit card..." - You can take your break now, Kevin. 144 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:37,859 Thank you. 145 00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:40,653 May I help you, son? - I need a room. 146 00:13:40,904 --> 00:13:42,530 And you have a reservation? 147 00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:45,742 I assume my mother made one. - Under her name? 148 00:13:48,703 --> 00:13:50,830 This is your mother? - Yep. 149 00:13:54,376 --> 00:13:57,212 No reservation under that name. 150 00:13:57,545 --> 00:13:58,713 That is so typical. 151 00:13:58,797 --> 00:14:01,925 In town looking at schools, are you? - Colleges. 152 00:14:02,217 --> 00:14:06,221 She had to fly home. I have a brother, a teenager. Bit of a problem. 153 00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:08,264 Every family has one. 154 00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,476 What colleges are you lookin' at, son? 155 00:14:11,685 --> 00:14:13,144 All of 'em, really. 156 00:14:14,104 --> 00:14:17,148 Just so long as it's here. Here in the Midwest. 157 00:14:17,732 --> 00:14:19,359 I hear ya. 158 00:14:22,737 --> 00:14:25,323 Hello, is Georgie there? He isn't? 159 00:14:25,407 --> 00:14:29,619 This is Mr. Slocumb, Georgie's favorite teacher from the academy. 160 00:14:30,328 --> 00:14:31,746 Who are you? 161 00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:34,916 Really? I didn't know Georgie had a sister. 162 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:37,502 I'm in town for a little while... 163 00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:39,921 at the O'Hare Hilton. 164 00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:44,426 Listen, what are you up to? 165 00:14:47,262 --> 00:14:50,348 But I'm an incredibly cool and young teacher. 166 00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:54,019 Why? How old are you? 167 00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:57,313 Really? 168 00:14:58,106 --> 00:14:59,691 You sound older than 11. 169 00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:03,403 You're right. It's probably the cigarettes. 170 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,073 Hello? 171 00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:08,450 Mimi Slocumb, please. 172 00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:09,826 This is she. 173 00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,661 I'm calling from the O'Hare Hilton. 174 00:15:31,306 --> 00:15:32,640 Hi. 175 00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:36,311 You can stand at attention there, Slocumb. 176 00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:47,238 What exactly do you think you're doing here? 177 00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:51,034 The Ritz-Carlton was full. 178 00:15:52,202 --> 00:15:56,873 You know I'm very tense these days, very anxious about all of Igby's trouble. 179 00:15:56,956 --> 00:16:01,670 My son in drug camp, for God's sake, and then you make me so very cross. 180 00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:05,882 And I take the trouble to tell you specifically what I require... 181 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,884 a half a grapefruit and... - Mimi. 182 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,219 Let's... 183 00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:11,805 Let's get off the maid. 184 00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:13,014 Help! 185 00:16:13,682 --> 00:16:17,060 Super Cadet has got this big smile on his face. 186 00:16:17,227 --> 00:16:19,020 No one takes him seriously. 187 00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:22,148 No one knows that he's been expelled that morning. 188 00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:24,401 They scream... 189 00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:27,153 "jump," and surprise... 190 00:16:27,237 --> 00:16:29,572 he does a swan dive onto the pavement. 191 00:16:30,198 --> 00:16:34,160 You can still see the stain in the pavement where his head popped open. 192 00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:39,624 Every morning, I used that blotch to know where to line up for breakfast formation. 193 00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:42,502 Do you contemplate suicide? 194 00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:44,004 Constantly. 195 00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:46,715 You totally missed the point of my story. 196 00:16:46,798 --> 00:16:48,591 Have I? - Completely. 197 00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:52,303 It's about the hypocrisy of the place, which I couldn't tolerate. 198 00:16:52,387 --> 00:16:55,306 You let me do my job, and you do yours. 199 00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:56,975 I'm trying to fucking help you. 200 00:16:57,058 --> 00:16:58,893 You think I need help? - Apparently. 201 00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:02,355 You think that I don't know how to do my job? 202 00:17:02,397 --> 00:17:06,401 No offense, but how good could you be, working at this place? 203 00:17:06,484 --> 00:17:10,238 You know, I can only be as effective as you allow me to be. 204 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:12,240 Just tried to help you with my story. 205 00:17:12,282 --> 00:17:14,909 How did you feel about what the boy did? 206 00:17:14,993 --> 00:17:19,956 I feel like he should've really reconsidered his fucking options, don't you? 207 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,542 What are your options? - I don't know yet. 208 00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:25,170 Who were you trying to hurt with the pills? 209 00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:29,716 Nobody. I was improvising as I went. I actually didn't give it a lot of thought. 210 00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:33,511 I think that you are much more aware than even you realize. 211 00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:37,098 Yeah? Well, you're an idiot, so... 212 00:17:38,183 --> 00:17:39,726 What the fuck are you doing? 213 00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:41,436 I don't like being called an idiot. 214 00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:43,897 You prick! You can't fucking hit me! 215 00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:50,320 Next fall, you'll be starting at yet another school. 216 00:17:50,487 --> 00:17:53,073 Are you gonna try to make an effort this time around? 217 00:17:58,328 --> 00:18:00,413 I'm considering my options. 218 00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:06,753 Am I to understand you have four separate doctors, all writing you prescriptions? 219 00:18:06,878 --> 00:18:08,046 It's a point of convenience. 220 00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:10,715 With no knowledge of what the others are prescribing! 221 00:18:10,799 --> 00:18:12,926 My dear man, I assure you, I need my peppies. 222 00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:16,096 Perhaps if you cut down on the Valium and the sleeping pills... 223 00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:19,224 you'd have more energy. - Without them I get very tense. 224 00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:22,644 You get tense because you pop speed like candy. 225 00:18:22,894 --> 00:18:26,940 Bad Mrs. Slocumb. - I beg your pardon. 226 00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:31,069 Patients actually tolerate this cheeky-little-shit routine of yours? 227 00:18:31,152 --> 00:18:32,862 Find it cute, do they? 228 00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:35,240 Mrs. Slocumb... - Out! 229 00:18:43,832 --> 00:18:46,251 I'm not well. - You mean literally? 230 00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:48,503 Yes, literally. They've run tests. 231 00:18:50,213 --> 00:18:51,756 This doesn't seem so bad. 232 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:55,343 As nice a place as any to spend the spring. Round out your rough edges. 233 00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:56,720 This'll do for ya. 234 00:18:56,803 --> 00:19:00,473 I still want you to come and work for me this summer. 235 00:19:00,682 --> 00:19:03,727 Stay with Bunny and me at the summer house. What do you think? 236 00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:07,188 Now, listen, the reason that Mimi... 237 00:19:07,522 --> 00:19:10,191 your mother, hasn't been able to... 238 00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:13,653 visit you... I'm sure she wanted to. She went to the... 239 00:19:13,737 --> 00:19:17,907 hospital for a bit of a rest, and they discovered something else. 240 00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:20,660 Something rather bad. 241 00:19:20,744 --> 00:19:24,914 She's getting treatment for it. Everybody's damn confident she'll be fine, but... 242 00:19:25,457 --> 00:19:27,500 You know what mastectomy is? 243 00:19:30,795 --> 00:19:32,005 Your house... 244 00:19:32,339 --> 00:19:33,798 It's on the beach, right? 245 00:19:35,383 --> 00:19:36,676 Contract. 246 00:19:37,761 --> 00:19:40,847 It's a contract. See, families should be run like companies... 247 00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:44,434 with everybody's responsibilities clearly defined. 248 00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:46,519 Children, at the age of reason... 249 00:19:46,603 --> 00:19:50,440 should be provided with legal representation and a contract drawn up. 250 00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:53,610 All the best relationships are based on contracts. 251 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,904 Bunny and I have a contract. 252 00:19:55,987 --> 00:19:58,239 Now that you're gonna come and work for me... 253 00:19:58,323 --> 00:19:59,991 we're gonna have one. 254 00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:04,079 And that piece of paper is your clean slate. 255 00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:13,505 You know, you could just take a later shuttle back to DC. 256 00:20:13,588 --> 00:20:15,799 I'm past the worst of it, I think. 257 00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:21,054 I'm meeting that dean from St. Anthony's, McKaye... 258 00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:25,100 in the morning, to beg him to admit your brother this fall. 259 00:20:25,308 --> 00:20:27,394 A mother's work is never done. 260 00:20:27,435 --> 00:20:30,063 D.H. is collecting Igby today? - Yeah. 261 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:32,941 He's picking him up from "the camp." 262 00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:36,653 What a great investment that has proven to be. 263 00:20:38,613 --> 00:20:41,991 Getting to hear, for two months, on a weekly basis... 264 00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:44,077 just how much my son hates me. 265 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:47,122 That's always been one of his favorite topics of conversation. 266 00:20:47,205 --> 00:20:51,376 His creation was an act of animosity. Why shouldn't his life be one? 267 00:20:57,674 --> 00:21:02,387 Listen, Ollie, this summer, Igby's going to bunk with you at Columbia during the week. 268 00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:04,681 You both can go to the Hamptons on the weekends. 269 00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:06,266 Of course. 270 00:21:06,850 --> 00:21:09,227 I'll baby-sit Igby all summer long. 271 00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:12,480 You know, you have been a very bad older brother. 272 00:21:15,734 --> 00:21:17,652 And yet you're the one he hates. 273 00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:23,116 Basically, it's like reverse Darwinism. 274 00:21:23,199 --> 00:21:27,162 A situation in which a less evolved species... 275 00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:31,124 is better equipped to survive than a more evolved creature. 276 00:21:31,499 --> 00:21:36,338 Which, if you think about it, isn't really reverse Darwinism, so much as... 277 00:21:36,421 --> 00:21:38,673 bigger-picture Darwinism, if you will. 278 00:21:39,883 --> 00:21:40,967 What? 279 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:54,022 Tommy? - Yeah. 280 00:21:54,105 --> 00:21:57,150 What's happening? Did you hear that? We were out there for... 281 00:21:57,233 --> 00:22:00,737 What are you doing? - Nothing. 282 00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:03,615 Did you hear the locks? It needs oil... 283 00:22:03,698 --> 00:22:05,533 or something. - I'll fix that. 284 00:22:05,575 --> 00:22:09,954 Look at this guy. Look at this strapping young working hunk of manhood. 285 00:22:10,038 --> 00:22:12,165 That's my godson, Igby. 286 00:22:13,041 --> 00:22:14,668 Ever hear that name, "Igby"? 287 00:22:15,210 --> 00:22:18,171 It's funny. You met his brother at the office the other day. 288 00:22:19,964 --> 00:22:21,216 How you doin'? 289 00:22:21,299 --> 00:22:22,509 Good. 290 00:22:27,555 --> 00:22:29,015 How you doin'? 291 00:22:29,474 --> 00:22:31,685 You're doin' "well." 292 00:22:37,399 --> 00:22:40,151 How's the work comin' along there, stud? 293 00:22:41,486 --> 00:22:43,571 Well? - Do we need this wall? 294 00:22:44,155 --> 00:22:46,408 Three thousand square feet over! 295 00:22:47,283 --> 00:22:51,746 You got the new plumbing. What do you call, risers, so we have very... 296 00:22:51,788 --> 00:22:53,581 We've got 27 windows. 297 00:22:55,125 --> 00:22:57,585 What are you doing, you little reptile? 298 00:22:59,045 --> 00:23:00,046 Look at this. 299 00:23:16,438 --> 00:23:18,606 Hi, honey! 300 00:24:05,362 --> 00:24:07,072 It's not that cold out here. 301 00:24:07,739 --> 00:24:08,948 No. 302 00:24:10,158 --> 00:24:11,409 Who are you? 303 00:24:11,659 --> 00:24:12,786 Sookie. 304 00:24:12,827 --> 00:24:15,330 Sookie? - Sookie Sapperstein. 305 00:24:15,372 --> 00:24:16,498 Yeah? 306 00:24:17,165 --> 00:24:18,291 Yeah. 307 00:24:21,836 --> 00:24:23,963 Are you somebody's daughter? 308 00:24:24,172 --> 00:24:25,799 I'm somebody's daughter. 309 00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:27,717 I mean somebody here at this party. 310 00:24:28,593 --> 00:24:29,636 No. 311 00:24:30,053 --> 00:24:31,554 Then why are you here? 312 00:24:32,806 --> 00:24:34,516 I'm with the catering company. 313 00:24:34,974 --> 00:24:36,434 The woman hired us for the party. 314 00:24:36,518 --> 00:24:38,770 Why do you think I'm dressed like a figure skater? 315 00:24:40,980 --> 00:24:42,607 Bunny hired you. 316 00:24:43,108 --> 00:24:44,609 She's my godmother. 317 00:24:46,820 --> 00:24:49,906 Actually, she's not. Her husband, D.H. Banes... 318 00:24:50,281 --> 00:24:51,741 he's my godfather. 319 00:24:52,325 --> 00:24:53,993 Are those cloves? 320 00:24:55,161 --> 00:24:57,247 Outstanding! Can I bum one? 321 00:25:01,292 --> 00:25:02,335 No. 322 00:25:06,715 --> 00:25:08,091 Got a light? 323 00:25:11,219 --> 00:25:12,595 And a cigarette? 324 00:25:21,438 --> 00:25:24,566 Rachel, I see you've met the boys. 325 00:25:24,858 --> 00:25:25,984 We've already met. 326 00:25:26,067 --> 00:25:28,945 Bunny, Rachel is the choreographer I was telling you about... 327 00:25:29,029 --> 00:25:33,616 who's renting that commercial space from us down in SoHo, using it as a studio. 328 00:25:33,700 --> 00:25:35,702 Remember? - How wonderful. 329 00:25:36,911 --> 00:25:38,371 Boys... 330 00:25:41,332 --> 00:25:44,336 It's so wonderful you could come and stay. 331 00:25:44,961 --> 00:25:48,340 Igby, I could just eat you with a spoon. - Don't. 332 00:25:50,550 --> 00:25:53,595 Now, when did you get out of camp? - Two months ago. 333 00:25:53,678 --> 00:25:57,223 I've been working for D.H. all summer. That's why I'm here every weekend. 334 00:25:57,307 --> 00:26:00,810 My wife is the philanthropist of the family. 335 00:26:00,894 --> 00:26:03,063 Especially fond of dance, aren't you dear? 336 00:26:03,104 --> 00:26:05,607 D.H., look. Pull around. 337 00:26:05,982 --> 00:26:07,067 Here we go. 338 00:26:07,108 --> 00:26:11,905 We have guests behind us. - The guests. I see. 339 00:26:13,114 --> 00:26:16,284 Are you two in school or something? 340 00:26:16,618 --> 00:26:19,913 I'm at Columbia, and as far as this year's challenge for Igby... 341 00:26:19,954 --> 00:26:23,708 we're still waiting to hear back from this fun parochial school in DC. 342 00:26:23,792 --> 00:26:26,753 "Perchance to dream." - He's done the Protestant circuit. 343 00:26:26,795 --> 00:26:30,465 Mom must have some photos of the head priest with an altar boy for them... 344 00:26:30,548 --> 00:26:32,258 to even be considering Igby. 345 00:26:32,592 --> 00:26:37,597 We're all at a bit of a loss as to... - Whenever I'm at a loss, I dip into Rilke. 346 00:26:39,391 --> 00:26:42,352 Rilke? That tortures me. 347 00:26:42,686 --> 00:26:46,189 Every Christmas, some asshole gives me this copy of Young Poet... 348 00:26:46,272 --> 00:26:50,485 with this patronizing note on the flap about how it's supposed to change my life. 349 00:26:50,568 --> 00:26:54,114 Maybe you should read it before judging it. - I'm pretty confident. 350 00:26:54,197 --> 00:26:56,449 After all, one of the copies was from you. 351 00:26:56,700 --> 00:26:59,661 I'm Oliver, and this is my little brother, Igby. 352 00:26:59,744 --> 00:27:01,454 What kind of a name is "Igby"? 353 00:27:01,579 --> 00:27:05,542 It's the kind of a name that someone named Sookie is in no position to question. 354 00:27:05,625 --> 00:27:06,668 Sookie? 355 00:27:06,918 --> 00:27:09,337 Where do you go to school? - Bennington. 356 00:27:09,421 --> 00:27:11,631 Ollie's majoring in Neo-Fascism at Columbia. 357 00:27:11,673 --> 00:27:13,466 Economics. - Semantics. 358 00:27:13,633 --> 00:27:15,802 What's your major? - Attitude. 359 00:27:16,678 --> 00:27:19,514 I've gotta get back to the bar. - That's where I'm headed. 360 00:27:19,597 --> 00:27:21,599 Catch you kids later. 361 00:27:26,688 --> 00:27:28,189 D.H. brings you up a lot. 362 00:27:28,231 --> 00:27:30,233 Captain Charisma is my godfather. - I know. 363 00:27:30,316 --> 00:27:33,278 So, if something horrible, God forbid... 364 00:27:33,361 --> 00:27:36,448 were to befall my mother, I would live with him and Bunny. 365 00:27:36,531 --> 00:27:39,868 I know what godparents are. - You're ripping apart my potential home. 366 00:27:39,951 --> 00:27:43,663 My being here offends you? - Your being here is great. 367 00:27:44,372 --> 00:27:47,375 I had no choice. - No, really. I think you're great. 368 00:27:47,417 --> 00:27:48,418 Thank you. 369 00:27:48,668 --> 00:27:51,129 It's him bringing you here that tortures me. 370 00:27:51,379 --> 00:27:55,342 I love the fact that the captain of the morality team invites his chick... 371 00:27:55,425 --> 00:27:59,971 to the same party as his wife, who isn't the sharpest tool in the shed anymore. 372 00:28:00,055 --> 00:28:04,392 And what's more, none of their supposed mutual friends protects her. 373 00:28:04,517 --> 00:28:09,022 None of them bats a fucking eyelash at his hypocrisy. I love that, I really do. 374 00:28:09,064 --> 00:28:12,400 Embrace your moral hypocrisy, D.H. Go for it. 375 00:28:16,696 --> 00:28:19,074 But me you're okay with. - Honestly. 376 00:28:19,407 --> 00:28:20,909 Listen, you know what? 377 00:28:21,159 --> 00:28:24,704 If you're ever in the city, you should pop by the loft. 378 00:28:25,288 --> 00:28:27,082 We're done working on it. 379 00:28:29,292 --> 00:28:30,293 I know. 380 00:28:55,110 --> 00:28:58,530 No worries, Mother. Igby is on his way to the airport. 381 00:28:58,780 --> 00:29:01,866 The driver's been briefed to take him directly to LaGuardia. 382 00:29:01,950 --> 00:29:05,036 He'll be in St. Anthony's loving custody by this afternoon. 383 00:29:05,620 --> 00:29:08,581 And happy birthday, Mother. 384 00:29:09,290 --> 00:29:10,583 Much love. 385 00:29:11,001 --> 00:29:12,085 Sir? 386 00:29:12,460 --> 00:29:15,505 It's my mother's birthday today, and I forgot. 387 00:29:16,631 --> 00:29:18,591 Is there any way that... 388 00:29:18,842 --> 00:29:20,301 we could just... 389 00:29:20,343 --> 00:29:23,138 make a quick stop in the city somewhere, so... 390 00:29:23,304 --> 00:29:24,973 I can get her something? 391 00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:26,975 She'd be so surprised. 392 00:29:51,458 --> 00:29:52,876 Can I help you? 393 00:29:53,418 --> 00:29:54,502 Hey. 394 00:29:54,836 --> 00:29:58,381 You remember me? From the Hamptons John Birch Cotillion. 395 00:29:59,966 --> 00:30:02,344 Yeah. How you doin'? 396 00:30:03,011 --> 00:30:04,387 Come on in. 397 00:30:04,888 --> 00:30:08,224 So, you said you'd come by and you did. A month later. 398 00:30:08,308 --> 00:30:13,229 Love what you've done with the space. - I love what the space has done to her. 399 00:30:13,938 --> 00:30:16,358 Igby. - This is my friend, Russel. 400 00:30:16,441 --> 00:30:17,692 Hi. - Hi. 401 00:30:17,942 --> 00:30:20,695 Igby is D.H. 's... - Godson. 402 00:30:21,363 --> 00:30:23,615 Russel's just... - What? 403 00:30:26,076 --> 00:30:28,578 He's just a brilliant artist. 404 00:30:29,079 --> 00:30:31,623 So, what are you doing here? 405 00:30:31,706 --> 00:30:32,749 Celebrating. 406 00:30:33,541 --> 00:30:35,126 St. Anthony's accepted me. 407 00:30:36,086 --> 00:30:37,671 Congratulations? 408 00:30:38,463 --> 00:30:40,173 I'm on the lam. 409 00:30:40,423 --> 00:30:43,093 You want to stay here? - Lf there's enough room. 410 00:30:43,176 --> 00:30:45,095 You can't stay here. 411 00:30:45,679 --> 00:30:48,890 I don't even live here. I rent this space to work in. I work here. 412 00:30:49,057 --> 00:30:51,518 I pay rent. D.H. doesn't even know you're here? 413 00:30:51,601 --> 00:30:53,144 It's kind of awkward. 414 00:30:53,395 --> 00:30:54,354 Great. 415 00:30:54,604 --> 00:30:58,274 I don't know what you're gonna do, because there isn't an extra key... 416 00:30:58,358 --> 00:31:01,027 and only D.H. can get them made, so... 417 00:31:06,825 --> 00:31:10,912 There's an extra key on the windowsill in the hallway, the landing outside the door. 418 00:31:10,995 --> 00:31:13,164 But it has to be here when D.H. needs it. 419 00:31:13,248 --> 00:31:15,583 Why would D.H. need it? - Fuck you! 420 00:31:16,001 --> 00:31:18,545 You can stay here for a couple days and that's it. 421 00:31:20,255 --> 00:31:23,174 Contrary to popular belief, D.H. is my landlord. 422 00:31:23,258 --> 00:31:26,469 I'm an established artist. I work here. My projects are supported. 423 00:31:26,553 --> 00:31:30,724 I can't afford to fuck up my relationship with my landlord. Do you understand? 424 00:31:30,765 --> 00:31:32,350 So, let yourself in and out... 425 00:31:32,434 --> 00:31:34,769 with the key, but each time he reaches for it... 426 00:31:34,853 --> 00:31:36,604 it's there waiting for him. - Sure. 427 00:31:36,646 --> 00:31:39,941 I don't wanna know you're here or see any traces of you in here. 428 00:31:39,983 --> 00:31:41,026 Gotcha. 429 00:31:41,109 --> 00:31:42,569 For a couple of days. 430 00:31:44,863 --> 00:31:46,823 I'm just gonna run to the bathroom. 431 00:31:50,785 --> 00:31:52,120 So, you're an artist? 432 00:31:55,457 --> 00:31:56,708 What kind of art? 433 00:31:56,791 --> 00:31:59,169 What do you mean, "what kind of art"? 434 00:31:59,252 --> 00:32:00,962 I mean do you paint, or what? 435 00:32:01,046 --> 00:32:04,507 I got what you meant, but you obviously didn't get what I meant. 436 00:32:04,799 --> 00:32:09,012 An artist creates art, regardless of what form the canvas takes. 437 00:32:09,095 --> 00:32:12,515 So, what do you do? Paint? - I'm a performance artist. 438 00:32:12,599 --> 00:32:14,476 So, you don't paint. 439 00:32:18,104 --> 00:32:20,065 Rachel thinks that D.H. is going to... 440 00:32:20,148 --> 00:32:23,860 leave his wifey and set up house with her. - Shut the fuck up, Russel! 441 00:32:23,943 --> 00:32:26,404 What do you think the chances of that are? 442 00:32:26,488 --> 00:32:28,823 Moneybuckets, take me away! 443 00:32:31,326 --> 00:32:35,372 Could you persuade your godfather into letting me use one of his buildings... 444 00:32:35,580 --> 00:32:36,998 for one of my pieces? 445 00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:39,584 What would you want to do with it? - I don't know. 446 00:32:39,668 --> 00:32:41,628 Russel is just, like... 447 00:32:43,505 --> 00:32:45,340 very brilliant. 448 00:32:49,678 --> 00:32:52,597 How old are you? - I'm 18. 449 00:32:54,307 --> 00:32:56,142 I'm very close to being 18. 450 00:33:00,730 --> 00:33:03,566 Still no news on Igby? - No. 451 00:33:04,192 --> 00:33:05,443 He will turn up. 452 00:33:05,694 --> 00:33:06,903 D.H. is... 453 00:33:07,195 --> 00:33:11,074 spending more time in New York these days than here in Georgetown, so... 454 00:33:11,533 --> 00:33:13,159 he is bound to find him. 455 00:33:13,243 --> 00:33:16,538 You know, listen, I just want you to know that if you should... 456 00:33:16,621 --> 00:33:18,790 take a very bad turn... 457 00:33:20,166 --> 00:33:24,045 death, for instance... Not to worry about the boys. 458 00:33:24,087 --> 00:33:27,799 D.H. was so excited about having them this summer... 459 00:33:27,882 --> 00:33:31,011 and, you know, if we could be surrogates... 460 00:33:31,094 --> 00:33:35,515 and help the boys in any way, you know that would make us very happy. 461 00:33:35,557 --> 00:33:38,059 I just want you to know that. 462 00:33:38,143 --> 00:33:41,771 Not to mention the fact that he's... Over the years, he's invested... 463 00:33:41,855 --> 00:33:46,776 an awful lot emotionally and, well, financially into the boys. 464 00:33:47,736 --> 00:33:49,696 Igby's tuition and such. 465 00:33:49,738 --> 00:33:51,740 I mean, where else would you turn? 466 00:33:51,948 --> 00:33:53,408 Jason? 467 00:33:54,284 --> 00:33:55,535 Handsome. 468 00:33:55,660 --> 00:33:58,413 Handsome, sad Jason... - Shut up. 469 00:33:58,496 --> 00:34:01,750 who so depleted your finances and your options. 470 00:34:01,833 --> 00:34:04,878 I mean, the sacrifices you've made to the boys... 471 00:34:04,919 --> 00:34:07,672 I'm just, well, how... 472 00:34:07,756 --> 00:34:10,508 How did you do it? - Stirrups and a turkey baster. 473 00:34:21,728 --> 00:34:24,189 Bunny? - Yeah? 474 00:34:25,940 --> 00:34:28,068 You are a feeble woman. 475 00:34:41,331 --> 00:34:43,667 Did I hear Mimi? 476 00:34:44,626 --> 00:34:46,086 She's just freshening up. 477 00:34:46,294 --> 00:34:47,545 She's freshening up? 478 00:34:48,505 --> 00:34:49,589 Mimi? 479 00:34:50,465 --> 00:34:52,217 Did she leave, D.H.? 480 00:34:52,467 --> 00:34:54,803 Without saying goodbye? 481 00:34:54,928 --> 00:34:56,429 She did leave a note. 482 00:34:56,721 --> 00:34:58,556 Of course she did. 483 00:34:58,848 --> 00:35:00,141 Sweet Mimi! 484 00:35:04,312 --> 00:35:06,731 Can't you hit D.H. up for some bucks? 485 00:35:07,941 --> 00:35:10,652 I'd ask him myself, but I'm not having sex with him. 486 00:35:10,735 --> 00:35:13,279 Fuck you. Get a job. - Please! 487 00:35:13,863 --> 00:35:16,408 Things have become fragile with D.H. 488 00:35:17,992 --> 00:35:19,411 What things? 489 00:35:19,911 --> 00:35:20,954 Me. 490 00:35:21,329 --> 00:35:22,455 Russel! 491 00:35:25,417 --> 00:35:28,586 You're not even paying rent. All you really need is pocket cash. 492 00:35:28,670 --> 00:35:29,921 I have needs. 493 00:35:30,005 --> 00:35:32,382 Russel's always looking for assistants for projects. 494 00:35:32,465 --> 00:35:35,301 I'm sure he'd throw you work as a favor to me. He loves me. 495 00:35:35,343 --> 00:35:37,595 Where the fuck are you? 496 00:35:37,679 --> 00:35:39,389 On one of his artworks? 497 00:35:40,849 --> 00:35:42,767 Shit! - Catch! 498 00:36:00,035 --> 00:36:03,872 I know you. You're that boy from the Hamptons party. 499 00:36:05,874 --> 00:36:06,916 Iggy? 500 00:36:07,208 --> 00:36:10,378 I met you at your uncle's party. 501 00:36:10,587 --> 00:36:13,340 Igby. He's my godfather. Leave me alone. 502 00:36:14,424 --> 00:36:15,508 Igby. 503 00:36:15,842 --> 00:36:16,843 What? 504 00:36:16,926 --> 00:36:18,178 Dime bag. 505 00:36:22,057 --> 00:36:23,808 That got your attention. 506 00:36:23,933 --> 00:36:25,185 Pavlov's pothead. 507 00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:28,521 I hear the sound of a bong clink and my eyes begin to water. 508 00:36:28,563 --> 00:36:30,065 That's funny. 509 00:36:31,191 --> 00:36:32,692 Thanks. 510 00:36:33,318 --> 00:36:34,527 The park? 511 00:36:34,736 --> 00:36:35,862 Yeah. 512 00:36:38,031 --> 00:36:40,700 You can't guard me, Mindy! 513 00:36:41,159 --> 00:36:43,286 C'mon, where'd it go? 514 00:36:43,620 --> 00:36:44,662 Oh, shit! 515 00:36:44,746 --> 00:36:47,374 You bitch! - My ball, cuntface! 516 00:36:53,129 --> 00:36:56,091 Are you a vegetarian? - Why would you ask that? 517 00:36:56,257 --> 00:36:59,219 I've just never seen anybody roll a joint like that. 518 00:36:59,761 --> 00:37:02,097 What does that have to do with being a vegetarian? 519 00:37:02,180 --> 00:37:04,140 They're just so precious. 520 00:37:05,266 --> 00:37:06,726 I roll perfect joints. 521 00:37:07,102 --> 00:37:10,230 I'm not putting them down. They're great. - Thank you. 522 00:37:10,271 --> 00:37:14,109 It's incredible that a human being could make such neat little joints. 523 00:37:14,150 --> 00:37:16,361 You make it sound as if I'm anal or something. 524 00:37:16,444 --> 00:37:19,572 Just because I can roll a perfect joint. - Not anal. 525 00:37:21,074 --> 00:37:22,075 Vegetarian. 526 00:37:22,117 --> 00:37:23,535 What does that mean? 527 00:37:23,618 --> 00:37:27,706 You don't roll big Rasta spliff joints, do you? 528 00:37:27,789 --> 00:37:31,292 Your joints are like salad joints, not like a big... 529 00:37:31,376 --> 00:37:35,797 sloppy, bleeding-cheeseburger- that-you-rip-into-kind-of-a-joint joint. 530 00:37:36,297 --> 00:37:41,219 I guess marijuana isn't a visceral experience for me. 531 00:37:41,970 --> 00:37:44,264 Sex is for me. - Right. 532 00:37:49,102 --> 00:37:53,189 Okay, so I am a vegetarian. But for purely moral reasons. 533 00:37:54,482 --> 00:37:57,152 I thought you went to school at Brandeis or someplace. 534 00:37:57,235 --> 00:37:58,778 Bennington. I do. 535 00:37:58,820 --> 00:38:01,823 Why aren't you there? - I took a semester off. 536 00:38:02,574 --> 00:38:04,409 I needed time to recuperate. 537 00:38:04,492 --> 00:38:05,827 From what? 538 00:38:07,954 --> 00:38:11,833 Entenmann's cookies, beer, diet pills, tension... 539 00:38:12,375 --> 00:38:13,793 life. 540 00:38:14,002 --> 00:38:16,838 My dad's been recuperating for six years. 541 00:38:17,339 --> 00:38:18,965 What do you mean? 542 00:38:19,674 --> 00:38:21,634 From life. Nothing. 543 00:38:24,512 --> 00:38:25,597 Let's go. 544 00:38:28,558 --> 00:38:30,518 You've come a long way, baby. 545 00:38:33,855 --> 00:38:35,315 You're funny. 546 00:38:51,039 --> 00:38:54,417 Hello, I'm Lt. Ernest Smith from Pershing Academy. 547 00:38:54,501 --> 00:38:57,545 I'm here to ask about a... - Those are fabulous. 548 00:38:57,921 --> 00:39:00,048 Where did you get them? - The army. 549 00:39:00,382 --> 00:39:01,716 See, I'm regular army. 550 00:39:01,883 --> 00:39:05,345 Mrs. Slocumb found out I was stationed in New Jersey now... 551 00:39:05,387 --> 00:39:09,933 so she just thought that maybe Igby, since he worked here this summer... 552 00:39:10,475 --> 00:39:11,935 Can I have these? 553 00:39:14,562 --> 00:39:16,022 No. 554 00:39:17,607 --> 00:39:20,819 I'm asking about Igby Slocumb! 555 00:39:23,279 --> 00:39:27,575 Anne Frank, the soldiers are gone. Come out and play. 556 00:39:36,876 --> 00:39:40,005 Yum, with three "M"s. 557 00:39:43,508 --> 00:39:46,219 You have a huge crush on me, don't you? 558 00:39:46,469 --> 00:39:47,512 Fuck off. 559 00:39:48,888 --> 00:39:51,349 How's your brother doing these days? 560 00:39:51,474 --> 00:39:55,270 I don't have a brother. I'm an only child. - Oliver's your brother, I thought. 561 00:39:55,353 --> 00:39:57,522 He is, and yet... - And yet what? 562 00:39:57,605 --> 00:40:00,734 I was about to say that we were both raised only children, but... 563 00:40:00,775 --> 00:40:03,111 that sounds like something you would say. 564 00:40:03,695 --> 00:40:05,238 What do you do? 565 00:40:05,572 --> 00:40:07,198 I'm preparing to leave. 566 00:40:07,449 --> 00:40:08,783 Where do you want to go? 567 00:40:09,409 --> 00:40:10,660 Far away. 568 00:40:11,369 --> 00:40:13,955 I was thinking about joining the Peace Corps. 569 00:40:14,372 --> 00:40:16,791 Go on my Razor's Edge experience. 570 00:40:16,875 --> 00:40:18,460 Discover the meaning of life. 571 00:40:19,127 --> 00:40:20,420 Whatever. 572 00:40:20,462 --> 00:40:24,132 You need at least three years of college to join the Peace Corps, don't you? 573 00:40:24,215 --> 00:40:25,258 You do? 574 00:40:25,550 --> 00:40:27,802 Yeah. I had a friend at school who joined. 575 00:40:28,136 --> 00:40:30,138 That could be a slight snag. 576 00:40:30,180 --> 00:40:32,640 I haven't even gotten around to taking my GED yet. 577 00:40:32,724 --> 00:40:35,268 So take it. - I gotta go to Hackensack. 578 00:40:35,435 --> 00:40:38,688 So go! Stop procrastinating. It's almost Christmas. 579 00:40:39,147 --> 00:40:43,151 Not going to New Jersey isn't procrastinating. It's common sense. 580 00:40:43,777 --> 00:40:45,779 Do you want me to go with you? - No. 581 00:40:46,112 --> 00:40:47,280 I will. 582 00:40:50,533 --> 00:40:52,035 All right, that'd be great. 583 00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:54,037 Why aren't you in school now? 584 00:40:54,162 --> 00:40:55,789 Sheer ingenuity. 585 00:40:56,915 --> 00:40:58,375 You're funny. 586 00:40:59,376 --> 00:41:02,837 Instead of saying that someone or something is funny... 587 00:41:03,213 --> 00:41:05,256 why don't you just laugh? 588 00:41:08,677 --> 00:41:10,470 Is that better? - Much. 589 00:41:12,847 --> 00:41:16,059 Gosh, I've never been to a hideout before. - Shut up. 590 00:41:42,877 --> 00:41:44,963 My boy... 591 00:41:45,547 --> 00:41:46,881 you look a bit... 592 00:41:47,590 --> 00:41:49,175 peaked. 593 00:41:49,384 --> 00:41:51,428 I don't feel peaked. 594 00:42:04,399 --> 00:42:05,608 Say... 595 00:42:05,734 --> 00:42:07,235 give your... 596 00:42:07,277 --> 00:42:09,529 Give your mother a call. 597 00:42:10,572 --> 00:42:12,907 Let her know you're alive, yes? 598 00:42:21,374 --> 00:42:24,002 You need to eat some red meat, my boy. 599 00:42:25,337 --> 00:42:26,921 You're all pale. 600 00:42:41,019 --> 00:42:43,563 I didn't know he was here. The key was on the window. 601 00:42:43,605 --> 00:42:45,440 We had lunch. I let him in. 602 00:42:45,482 --> 00:42:48,401 How was I supposed to know that? It wasn't my fault. 603 00:42:48,443 --> 00:42:51,613 We had an agreement. You fucked up. - It wasn't my fault. 604 00:42:51,821 --> 00:42:53,239 You fucking idiot! 605 00:42:54,157 --> 00:42:55,492 So... 606 00:42:56,701 --> 00:42:58,912 I guess you have to pay rent this month. 607 00:43:05,669 --> 00:43:07,253 Rachel, stop. 608 00:43:30,402 --> 00:43:31,695 She's a... 609 00:43:32,070 --> 00:43:34,447 dancer who doesn't dance, and... 610 00:43:34,489 --> 00:43:37,117 her friend is a painter who doesn't paint. 611 00:43:37,450 --> 00:43:40,995 It's kind of a boho version of Island of the Lost Toys. 612 00:43:43,164 --> 00:43:45,875 And she's a lot stronger than she looks. 613 00:44:39,596 --> 00:44:41,181 I broke my butt! 614 00:44:51,232 --> 00:44:54,694 You know what I think about when I'm this close to another body? 615 00:44:57,197 --> 00:44:58,531 I think... 616 00:44:59,657 --> 00:45:00,867 one day... 617 00:45:01,910 --> 00:45:03,745 at one moment... 618 00:45:04,537 --> 00:45:08,792 this body that I'm holding in my arms will stop breathing... 619 00:45:09,793 --> 00:45:11,461 stop living... 620 00:45:12,003 --> 00:45:13,338 just... 621 00:45:14,506 --> 00:45:15,590 stop. 622 00:45:18,468 --> 00:45:23,682 One day, you'll see my name in the obits and you'll remember this moment. 623 00:45:26,101 --> 00:45:28,228 You're a real fuckin' upper. 624 00:45:28,770 --> 00:45:31,398 How did you end up at military school? 625 00:45:31,731 --> 00:45:32,899 Mimi. 626 00:45:32,941 --> 00:45:34,818 Mimi? - My mother. 627 00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:37,404 You call your mother "Mimi"? 628 00:45:37,946 --> 00:45:39,781 "Heinous One" is a bit cumbersome. 629 00:45:39,864 --> 00:45:41,074 Right. 630 00:45:41,157 --> 00:45:43,118 "Medea" was already taken. 631 00:45:45,662 --> 00:45:48,415 Your mother sent you to military school? 632 00:45:49,624 --> 00:45:54,421 In all fairness to her, I did get kicked out of most of the schools on the East Coast. 633 00:45:56,297 --> 00:46:01,261 Still, I just assumed that military school was an empty threat, like with most parents. 634 00:46:02,053 --> 00:46:03,763 She called that bluff. 635 00:46:04,305 --> 00:46:07,017 Do you resent her for sending you there? 636 00:46:07,350 --> 00:46:08,727 I'm glad I went. 637 00:46:09,394 --> 00:46:11,104 It made everything clear to me. 638 00:46:11,896 --> 00:46:13,231 Like what? 639 00:46:14,524 --> 00:46:15,859 The fight. 640 00:46:16,151 --> 00:46:18,361 15 minutes. - Okay. 641 00:46:18,445 --> 00:46:21,573 Downstairs, dressed, waiting for your father, in 15 minutes... 642 00:46:21,656 --> 00:46:22,866 or you're taking the bus. 643 00:46:22,949 --> 00:46:23,992 I know. 644 00:46:39,841 --> 00:46:40,925 Dad? 645 00:48:17,439 --> 00:48:18,648 You see... 646 00:48:19,941 --> 00:48:21,067 Igby... 647 00:48:22,277 --> 00:48:24,446 I feel this... 648 00:48:24,654 --> 00:48:25,905 great... 649 00:48:28,575 --> 00:48:29,784 pressure... 650 00:48:31,619 --> 00:48:33,204 coming down on me. 651 00:48:35,123 --> 00:48:39,461 It's just constantly coming down on me... 652 00:48:43,131 --> 00:48:44,507 crushing me. 653 00:49:00,106 --> 00:49:04,903 You make it sound sinister. That's what good schools are for, to shape you... 654 00:49:05,111 --> 00:49:08,740 not brainwash you in some evil, Orwellian way, or... 655 00:49:08,907 --> 00:49:11,326 squash you into something you're not, but... 656 00:49:12,369 --> 00:49:15,205 I know my mother teaches metaphysical poetry at Vassar. 657 00:49:15,288 --> 00:49:16,623 I really believe she tries... 658 00:49:16,664 --> 00:49:20,669 My father went through the system and it told him what he was supposed to want. 659 00:49:21,002 --> 00:49:22,629 He achieved everything, and... 660 00:49:23,004 --> 00:49:24,714 then in his 40s, he flipped. 661 00:49:24,839 --> 00:49:27,008 What did he really want? 662 00:49:28,510 --> 00:49:29,886 Sunny days. 663 00:49:30,553 --> 00:49:33,848 Now Dad is in the Maryland Home for the Befuddled. 664 00:49:35,016 --> 00:49:36,935 Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. 665 00:49:38,311 --> 00:49:40,814 So, you're never going back to school? 666 00:49:41,022 --> 00:49:44,776 What are you planning to do with your life, Igby? Just kill time until... 667 00:49:44,859 --> 00:49:46,945 My nervous breakdown comes along? 668 00:49:52,492 --> 00:49:53,910 Is your father dead? 669 00:49:54,285 --> 00:49:56,079 No, why? 670 00:49:56,705 --> 00:50:01,167 'Cause when I talked about mine, you didn't feel obligated to compare and contrast. 671 00:50:01,876 --> 00:50:03,545 He's a theologian. 672 00:50:04,295 --> 00:50:07,382 A Jewish theologian and a metaphysical poetess. 673 00:50:08,258 --> 00:50:09,467 Doesn't explain you. 674 00:50:09,551 --> 00:50:10,969 What would? 675 00:50:11,428 --> 00:50:13,221 Cross-dressing psychoanalysts? 676 00:50:13,638 --> 00:50:14,973 Heroin junkies? 677 00:50:15,306 --> 00:50:17,058 I don't know. - Thanks. 678 00:50:18,727 --> 00:50:20,228 My parents... 679 00:50:20,854 --> 00:50:22,188 were two... 680 00:50:22,230 --> 00:50:25,233 very idealistic, incredibly bright... 681 00:50:25,817 --> 00:50:26,985 narcissists. 682 00:50:27,902 --> 00:50:29,571 I was like their vanity project. 683 00:50:29,654 --> 00:50:31,865 Oh, my God. - What? 684 00:50:31,906 --> 00:50:33,450 You torture me. 685 00:50:33,950 --> 00:50:35,702 I was adopted, okay? 686 00:50:35,785 --> 00:50:37,537 That would explain everything. 687 00:50:38,079 --> 00:50:40,707 'Cause, I mean, how many Vassar professors... 688 00:50:40,790 --> 00:50:45,420 and intellectual theologians beget nymphomaniacal... 689 00:50:45,503 --> 00:50:47,464 pseudo-bohemian J.A.P. s? 690 00:50:47,964 --> 00:50:50,300 Actually, a lot, probably, right? 691 00:50:53,595 --> 00:50:55,013 I'm not a J.A.P. 692 00:51:11,905 --> 00:51:14,908 Good morning. I'm Oliver. We met at the... - Right. 693 00:51:14,949 --> 00:51:17,911 At that party in the Hamptons. 694 00:51:18,161 --> 00:51:21,790 You're the fascist brother. - He prefers "Young Republican." 695 00:51:26,461 --> 00:51:28,088 I'm Sookie. 696 00:51:28,713 --> 00:51:30,757 Excuse me. I've got to... 697 00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:32,592 I'm sorry. 698 00:51:37,806 --> 00:51:40,684 God, you're pathetic. - Thank you, fuckwit. 699 00:51:41,851 --> 00:51:43,436 D.H. told you I was here? 700 00:51:43,728 --> 00:51:47,857 Your little vacation's about to come to a rather abrupt and severe end. 701 00:51:48,692 --> 00:51:50,151 Come again? 702 00:51:50,193 --> 00:51:51,361 You're still a minor. 703 00:51:51,444 --> 00:51:52,487 So? 704 00:51:52,570 --> 00:51:55,782 Since you're not interested in taking care of your education... 705 00:51:55,824 --> 00:51:57,826 measures are being taken on your behalf. 706 00:51:57,909 --> 00:51:59,285 What measures? 707 00:51:59,577 --> 00:52:01,663 Mom's coming up next weekend. 708 00:52:02,038 --> 00:52:03,123 Great. 709 00:52:03,581 --> 00:52:06,876 I'm taking my equivalency test on Friday. - Whatever. 710 00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:08,962 I can vouch, because I made the appointment. 711 00:52:09,004 --> 00:52:10,797 Really? - Really. 712 00:52:11,381 --> 00:52:14,134 Oh, my God! It's almost the afternoon. 713 00:52:15,343 --> 00:52:16,678 Look, it was... 714 00:52:17,303 --> 00:52:20,473 nice meeting you. I'm gonna take off. - Where are you headed? 715 00:52:20,515 --> 00:52:22,308 My mom's. Upper East Side. 716 00:52:22,350 --> 00:52:25,061 Me, too. That's where I'm staying. 717 00:52:25,145 --> 00:52:27,230 Amidst the cobwebs and geriatrics. 718 00:52:27,313 --> 00:52:28,481 The geriatrics? 719 00:52:28,565 --> 00:52:31,901 Everyone's inferior to Ollie in some way. Ask him, he'll tell ya. 720 00:52:31,985 --> 00:52:33,361 Let me give you a lift. 721 00:52:33,653 --> 00:52:36,698 It's a write-off for D.H. You can't pass up a free ride. 722 00:52:38,616 --> 00:52:40,326 Friday? - Friday. 723 00:52:42,537 --> 00:52:43,705 See ya. 724 00:52:49,502 --> 00:52:51,588 It's not his real name. 725 00:52:51,921 --> 00:52:56,176 He had a stuffed bear as a kid, Digby Bear. They were British, I think. 726 00:52:56,718 --> 00:53:00,347 And because he always got everything wrong, he called it "Igby." 727 00:53:00,388 --> 00:53:04,351 Whenever he committed a crime, he would say, "I didn't do it, Igby did." 728 00:53:04,684 --> 00:53:08,688 And to break him of this habit, being as hip to child psych as she was... 729 00:53:08,730 --> 00:53:12,275 Mimi started referring to him as Igby every time he lied. 730 00:53:12,359 --> 00:53:14,652 He lied a lot. 731 00:53:17,197 --> 00:53:20,700 So, you work for your godfather? 732 00:53:20,784 --> 00:53:23,661 Igby's, D.H., who is amazing. 733 00:53:24,079 --> 00:53:26,956 His mind functions only to make money. 734 00:53:27,248 --> 00:53:30,001 He thinks he has everything he could possibly want... 735 00:53:30,085 --> 00:53:34,297 so he walks around acting the way he thinks a happy and content man should act. 736 00:53:34,798 --> 00:53:35,840 He's a parody. 737 00:53:35,924 --> 00:53:40,428 Lf he's a parody, why do you work for him? - He's an obscenely rich parody. 738 00:53:40,512 --> 00:53:43,890 And if he wants to make me in his image, hey. 739 00:53:46,142 --> 00:53:48,144 What does your mother do? 740 00:53:48,395 --> 00:53:52,273 She's a writer, though mostly she just teaches now. 741 00:53:52,357 --> 00:53:53,608 Is she divorced? 742 00:53:53,900 --> 00:53:55,026 Never married. 743 00:53:55,110 --> 00:53:57,112 How come? - Doesn't like men. 744 00:53:57,529 --> 00:53:59,447 Lesbian. - No. 745 00:54:00,365 --> 00:54:02,867 Just a failed heterosexual. 746 00:54:05,870 --> 00:54:08,206 Listen, thanks for the lift. 747 00:54:09,457 --> 00:54:10,625 Shit! 748 00:54:10,709 --> 00:54:13,253 What, did you lose your wallet? 749 00:54:14,295 --> 00:54:16,673 I don't have the keys to my aunt's apartment. 750 00:54:16,756 --> 00:54:20,719 The doorman won't let you in? - He's totally senile, never remembers me. 751 00:54:20,802 --> 00:54:22,679 I'll just wait for her. 752 00:54:23,096 --> 00:54:24,514 Wander around. 753 00:54:24,597 --> 00:54:26,641 She'll be in this evening at some point. 754 00:54:26,725 --> 00:54:28,852 Are you sure? - Yeah. 755 00:54:29,561 --> 00:54:32,022 Could I use your phone? - Sure. 756 00:54:32,105 --> 00:54:33,773 I mean, God. 757 00:54:33,857 --> 00:54:34,941 Can I get a receipt? 758 00:54:40,780 --> 00:54:41,990 Mimi... 759 00:54:42,907 --> 00:54:45,994 had been afraid someone would find something embarrassing. 760 00:54:47,328 --> 00:54:49,664 So up went her little soldier... 761 00:54:50,040 --> 00:54:51,708 while she waited downstairs. 762 00:54:52,417 --> 00:54:54,836 This old lady led me to his desk. 763 00:54:56,046 --> 00:55:00,633 And before she left me there, made sure to give me a nice pat on the head. 764 00:55:00,800 --> 00:55:03,303 I wanted to break her fucking hand. 765 00:55:04,554 --> 00:55:08,516 So, I sat down in my father's chair and I started looking in his desk. 766 00:55:08,850 --> 00:55:10,977 Each drawer that I opened was the same. 767 00:55:11,269 --> 00:55:13,521 No books, no pencils... 768 00:55:13,605 --> 00:55:17,776 just row upon row of meticulously stacked cigarettes. 769 00:55:18,068 --> 00:55:19,277 Thousands of them. 770 00:55:24,616 --> 00:55:26,117 And all I could think was... 771 00:55:26,326 --> 00:55:29,788 not the extent to which my father's sickness had damaged him... 772 00:55:29,954 --> 00:55:31,081 but rather: 773 00:55:31,289 --> 00:55:32,290 "Gosh... 774 00:55:33,500 --> 00:55:37,253 "how would somebody do this without anyone in the office being the wiser?" 775 00:55:37,379 --> 00:55:42,384 You know, not "my father's so far fucking gone, he ain't never comin' back..." 776 00:55:43,551 --> 00:55:44,719 but just: 777 00:55:49,140 --> 00:55:53,269 "How the fuck did he get all of these cigarettes... 778 00:55:55,980 --> 00:55:57,565 "into this desk?" 779 00:56:00,151 --> 00:56:01,653 You were numb. 780 00:56:06,783 --> 00:56:08,284 Sookie... 781 00:56:08,785 --> 00:56:10,036 I am numb. 782 00:57:57,686 --> 00:58:01,064 Everything all right here, folks? You okay? - Great. 783 00:58:01,564 --> 00:58:03,817 Excuse me! I'm sorry. 784 00:58:41,896 --> 00:58:44,899 Do you want me to give this to you or should I hang on to it? 785 00:58:44,941 --> 00:58:47,902 I want you to pin it to my lapel with my mittens and nametag. 786 00:58:47,986 --> 00:58:51,698 Snippy. No bus-ride treat for you. - Shut up! 787 00:58:52,824 --> 00:58:55,160 You're being really immature about this. 788 00:58:55,410 --> 00:58:59,706 If I'm immature, you're prenatal. God, to be impressed by that preppy prick. 789 00:58:59,748 --> 00:59:02,250 We hung out. We're closer in age. 790 00:59:02,334 --> 00:59:04,711 He's your brother. You act like you hate him. 791 00:59:04,919 --> 00:59:06,129 I do! 792 00:59:06,338 --> 00:59:08,882 I do hate him. He's totally hateable. 793 00:59:10,592 --> 00:59:12,677 Evil, niblet fuck. 794 00:59:18,433 --> 00:59:22,270 There's been a misunderstanding. Next fall is not good. 795 00:59:22,354 --> 00:59:25,732 I need my son enrolled this spring. 796 00:59:26,858 --> 00:59:30,403 Have you spoken to his godfather, D.H. Banes? 797 00:59:30,904 --> 00:59:33,782 Igby is his favorite charity. 798 00:59:33,823 --> 00:59:36,785 He's sponsoring the boy, as in, financially. 799 00:59:37,994 --> 00:59:43,375 What do we have to do, then, to make it happen this spring? 800 00:59:44,668 --> 00:59:45,960 You do that. 801 00:59:46,252 --> 00:59:48,046 Thank you very much. 802 00:59:48,463 --> 00:59:49,673 Bye-bye. 803 00:59:55,637 --> 00:59:58,932 I'm goin' to California. I need a fuckin' sunny day. 804 00:59:59,474 --> 01:00:00,809 Can I come? 805 01:00:01,184 --> 01:00:02,519 I'm serious. 806 01:00:03,061 --> 01:00:04,896 There's nothing keeping me here. 807 01:00:05,230 --> 01:00:06,606 Except perhaps poverty. 808 01:00:06,648 --> 01:00:09,401 Can't let that stop you. - I can't. 809 01:00:10,068 --> 01:00:12,737 I've always wanted to drive across the country. 810 01:00:12,987 --> 01:00:15,532 Maybe this summer. - Fuck that. I'm flying. 811 01:00:15,740 --> 01:00:18,243 I wanna come, asshole. - Good. 812 01:00:19,911 --> 01:00:22,497 'Cause I'd be afraid to go by myself. 813 01:00:40,682 --> 01:00:44,227 May I freshen your drink? - A little baby portion, please. 814 01:00:46,896 --> 01:00:48,314 Bigger baby. 815 01:00:53,194 --> 01:00:54,529 Thank you. 816 01:01:01,202 --> 01:01:03,038 I must say... 817 01:01:03,204 --> 01:01:05,540 you have perfected the hobo look. 818 01:01:06,332 --> 01:01:09,919 You didn't buy the suit, did you? Someone left it someplace for you? 819 01:01:10,003 --> 01:01:11,087 Dad. 820 01:01:11,379 --> 01:01:12,589 How apropos. 821 01:01:16,718 --> 01:01:17,969 I want my money. 822 01:01:18,219 --> 01:01:19,346 My money from Dad. 823 01:01:19,429 --> 01:01:21,139 I'll get it in two years, anyway. 824 01:01:21,222 --> 01:01:24,726 So you can extend your vacation? - I need it. 825 01:01:25,101 --> 01:01:26,811 You freed it up early for Ollie. 826 01:01:27,979 --> 01:01:31,441 Ollie graduated from high school. He graduated at the top of his class. 827 01:01:31,524 --> 01:01:34,527 He earned it. I'm not gonna subsidize your being a bum. 828 01:01:34,611 --> 01:01:36,696 It's a moot point, anyhow. - What do you mean? 829 01:01:36,738 --> 01:01:40,867 You're assuming Jason provided for you in the same manner he provided for Ollie. 830 01:01:40,909 --> 01:01:41,951 Yes. 831 01:01:42,035 --> 01:01:43,119 He didn't. 832 01:01:44,037 --> 01:01:45,497 You're lying. 833 01:01:46,664 --> 01:01:47,832 Darling... 834 01:01:48,249 --> 01:01:50,669 why would I lie when I can just say "no"? 835 01:01:54,297 --> 01:01:57,384 I've had a conversation with Mr. McKaye... 836 01:01:57,467 --> 01:02:02,430 headmaster of St. Anthony's, and in spite of your little disappearing act this fall... 837 01:02:03,223 --> 01:02:07,394 he has agreed to admit you after Christmas. 838 01:02:07,435 --> 01:02:09,813 You'll be boarding there... - I'm not going back. 839 01:02:09,896 --> 01:02:12,816 I passed the equivalency test. I don't have to go back. 840 01:02:13,108 --> 01:02:18,071 Of course, I don't trust you with the train fare, so if you just look up Ollie... 841 01:02:18,279 --> 01:02:21,366 tell him that I will reimburse him if he buys your ticket. 842 01:02:21,449 --> 01:02:23,326 I don't have his number. - D.H. does. 843 01:02:25,245 --> 01:02:27,747 If it had just occurred to me to mention it to Ollie. 844 01:02:27,831 --> 01:02:30,667 I saw him this afternoon, for lunch, with his girlfriend. 845 01:02:30,750 --> 01:02:33,253 In fact, you just missed him, darling, by about... 846 01:02:33,378 --> 01:02:35,171 an hour and a half. 847 01:02:36,256 --> 01:02:37,716 His Connecticut one? 848 01:02:39,426 --> 01:02:44,264 Though I rather liked her. This is a new one, a rather attractive New York girl, a... 849 01:02:44,848 --> 01:02:46,266 Jewish girl. 850 01:02:55,984 --> 01:03:00,613 You've reached my studio. If you want to rent, leave your information after the beep. 851 01:03:00,655 --> 01:03:02,449 Otherwise, you know what to do. 852 01:03:03,616 --> 01:03:06,494 Honey? I hope I caught you. 853 01:03:06,536 --> 01:03:09,873 Guess where I am. St. Vincent's Hospital. 854 01:03:10,665 --> 01:03:12,167 We're having a party. 855 01:03:12,208 --> 01:03:15,253 Everybody is here, just fucking everybody. 856 01:03:15,879 --> 01:03:17,172 It's a party. 857 01:03:17,714 --> 01:03:20,508 A bad batch Mama sold you. 858 01:03:20,842 --> 01:03:23,178 But I caught you in time, right? 859 01:03:24,012 --> 01:03:26,348 You're not coming to this party, right? 860 01:03:31,227 --> 01:03:33,188 Hello, Bunny? It's Igby. 861 01:03:33,438 --> 01:03:37,275 I'm in New York. Listen, is D.H. there? 862 01:03:37,650 --> 01:03:42,364 Thank you. She was by my place, literally, seconds ago. 863 01:03:42,697 --> 01:03:45,658 She must've used in the cab on the way home. 864 01:03:46,159 --> 01:03:49,162 My God, what's that about, right? 865 01:03:49,829 --> 01:03:52,540 A little patience, girl, huh? 866 01:03:53,124 --> 01:03:56,670 Hi. The doctor said that she's gonna be fine. 867 01:03:57,545 --> 01:03:59,214 Out tomorrow maybe. 868 01:03:59,297 --> 01:04:01,841 Everything's taken care of. Nothing more to do here. 869 01:04:02,050 --> 01:04:05,553 I'm Rachel's friend, Russel. 870 01:04:07,681 --> 01:04:08,682 Hi. 871 01:04:10,058 --> 01:04:12,686 Need a lift? Headed back to the loft? 872 01:04:13,353 --> 01:04:16,398 Yeah. Thanks, D.H. - Please. 873 01:04:19,859 --> 01:04:22,612 I'm sorry I called like that. I didn't know what else to do. 874 01:04:22,696 --> 01:04:25,407 You did the right thing. I'm glad we were on the island. 875 01:04:25,490 --> 01:04:26,783 Good boy. 876 01:04:27,033 --> 01:04:28,868 Very good boy. 877 01:04:38,878 --> 01:04:43,800 You know, I was the best man at your parents' wedding. Did you know that, Igby? 878 01:04:44,175 --> 01:04:48,054 The golden couple. That's what the paper called it. 879 01:04:48,596 --> 01:04:50,390 My boy. 880 01:04:53,852 --> 01:04:57,272 You know what I think you've been up to? I think you've been pissing... 881 01:04:57,313 --> 01:04:59,399 in the well from which you drink. 882 01:05:00,108 --> 01:05:02,444 That's what I think you've been up to. 883 01:05:27,635 --> 01:05:29,137 What happened? 884 01:05:30,638 --> 01:05:31,973 Breach of contract. 885 01:05:32,432 --> 01:05:33,975 D.H. did this to you? 886 01:05:34,893 --> 01:05:38,021 I didn't know he could get angry. - He wasn't angry. 887 01:05:38,104 --> 01:05:39,773 He felt obligated. 888 01:05:41,107 --> 01:05:44,611 Not to worry. I doubt it will affect your position as his prime punk. 889 01:05:45,028 --> 01:05:49,199 I think if Gandhi had had to hang out with you for any prolonged period of time... 890 01:05:49,282 --> 01:05:51,743 he'd have ended up kicking the shit out of you. 891 01:05:52,494 --> 01:05:53,953 Fuckwit. 892 01:05:54,287 --> 01:05:55,789 Why? 893 01:05:55,955 --> 01:05:57,123 Rachel. 894 01:05:58,667 --> 01:06:00,168 You're screwing Rachel? 895 01:06:00,335 --> 01:06:01,920 You're screwing Rachel? 896 01:06:02,003 --> 01:06:04,172 Where was Rachel when all this was going on? 897 01:06:05,173 --> 01:06:06,341 OD'd. 898 01:06:08,301 --> 01:06:10,053 Is she dead? 899 01:06:11,012 --> 01:06:12,639 St. Vincent's. 900 01:06:15,100 --> 01:06:16,559 Unbelievable. 901 01:06:18,019 --> 01:06:20,355 Mom wanted me to escort you down to DC... 902 01:06:20,438 --> 01:06:24,025 and deliver you to St. Anthony's, but you can't travel now. 903 01:06:24,609 --> 01:06:26,403 At least not with me. 904 01:06:27,445 --> 01:06:30,490 I'm not going. I took the equivalency test. 905 01:06:30,532 --> 01:06:32,534 I don't have to go. - Humor her. 906 01:06:32,575 --> 01:06:34,452 Humor me and fuck off. 907 01:06:36,162 --> 01:06:38,039 Apparently, they found another lump. 908 01:06:38,123 --> 01:06:39,124 Good. 909 01:06:53,263 --> 01:06:55,348 Say hello to Sookie for me. 910 01:07:07,193 --> 01:07:08,403 You see... 911 01:07:09,821 --> 01:07:11,322 I have this... 912 01:07:13,658 --> 01:07:15,076 I feel... 913 01:07:15,744 --> 01:07:16,828 this... 914 01:07:17,120 --> 01:07:18,538 great... 915 01:07:20,749 --> 01:07:22,000 pressure... 916 01:07:23,918 --> 01:07:25,587 coming down on me. 917 01:07:27,922 --> 01:07:29,549 It's crushing me. 918 01:07:46,816 --> 01:07:50,236 It's just you and me, old man. 919 01:08:37,075 --> 01:08:38,576 Are you there? 920 01:08:40,078 --> 01:08:41,871 Oh, my God! 921 01:08:42,914 --> 01:08:46,459 I'm in the shower. Go away. Come back later! 922 01:08:46,543 --> 01:08:49,379 We've gotta go now. I gotta get out of here. - What? 923 01:08:49,462 --> 01:08:53,133 We gotta go. I know we said the summer, but we gotta go now. 924 01:08:53,466 --> 01:08:55,468 There's something that I have to tell you. 925 01:08:55,552 --> 01:08:57,595 Ollie. I know. 926 01:08:57,679 --> 01:09:01,516 How soon can you be ready? - I can't go with you. 927 01:09:02,350 --> 01:09:03,727 Things have changed. 928 01:09:04,019 --> 01:09:05,812 They haven't. 929 01:09:05,895 --> 01:09:09,441 You're my friend! That hasn't changed, right? 930 01:09:09,524 --> 01:09:13,069 That hasn't changed. But... 931 01:09:13,528 --> 01:09:15,321 Ollie and I are... 932 01:09:17,449 --> 01:09:18,950 We're the same age, and... 933 01:09:22,495 --> 01:09:24,539 Calm down! 934 01:09:24,622 --> 01:09:27,500 This is perfect! This is fucking perfect! 935 01:09:27,625 --> 01:09:30,170 Sookie Sapperstein and the Young Republican. 936 01:09:30,253 --> 01:09:33,048 Of course. How natural! - Shut up! 937 01:09:33,131 --> 01:09:34,841 You think you're what he wants? 938 01:09:34,924 --> 01:09:38,219 You think that you fit the picture of how he wants his life to look? 939 01:09:38,303 --> 01:09:41,848 You think that he would bring you back to our mother as a potential wife? 940 01:09:41,931 --> 01:09:43,391 Our mother? 941 01:09:43,516 --> 01:09:46,353 She'd be nice to your face, but the first opportunity... 942 01:09:46,394 --> 01:09:48,271 she'd pull him aside and warn him off. 943 01:09:48,355 --> 01:09:52,025 "Mongrel children have such a hard time fitting in, dearest!" 944 01:09:52,067 --> 01:09:53,860 Shut up! 945 01:09:53,902 --> 01:09:56,613 He will lie to you! 946 01:09:56,696 --> 01:09:59,699 He will use you up and marry some inbred... 947 01:09:59,783 --> 01:10:03,578 Darien Frau who will beget him all the towheaded brats he can afford. 948 01:10:03,661 --> 01:10:05,205 Go away! 949 01:10:05,288 --> 01:10:07,248 They are rigid and they are cold! 950 01:10:07,332 --> 01:10:11,836 And you don't know they are cold to the fuckin' bone! 951 01:10:16,841 --> 01:10:19,219 I'm not going with you. 952 01:10:28,937 --> 01:10:30,271 I'm scared. 953 01:10:46,454 --> 01:10:49,666 You're just a glutton for fuckin' punishment, aren't you, lgs? 954 01:12:01,363 --> 01:12:02,572 Russel! 955 01:12:07,577 --> 01:12:09,579 I need a job! 956 01:12:22,717 --> 01:12:23,927 Hello? 957 01:12:24,135 --> 01:12:25,303 Lisa Fiedler's? 958 01:12:26,596 --> 01:12:28,556 I know a girl from Baltimore. 959 01:12:29,557 --> 01:12:30,767 So what? 960 01:12:32,394 --> 01:12:34,270 I know a girl from Baltimore. 961 01:12:34,354 --> 01:12:36,356 What are you talking about? 962 01:12:37,565 --> 01:12:40,819 I know a girl from Baltimore! 963 01:12:40,902 --> 01:12:42,153 So do I! 964 01:12:42,570 --> 01:12:45,532 Lisa, there's some guy here for you, but he keeps talking... 965 01:12:45,573 --> 01:12:47,325 Who is it? - I don't know. 966 01:12:47,409 --> 01:12:49,160 He's saying something about Baltimore? 967 01:12:49,244 --> 01:12:51,454 The drugs! - The drugs! 968 01:12:53,581 --> 01:12:56,251 It's me. I'm at Fiedler's house. 969 01:12:56,459 --> 01:12:59,170 She wants to know if she can pay with a personal check. 970 01:12:59,754 --> 01:13:01,548 You have no cash? - No. 971 01:13:01,673 --> 01:13:04,884 I might have enough in travelers' checks and francs. 972 01:13:04,926 --> 01:13:07,512 Her roommate may have enough in travelers' checks. 973 01:13:07,595 --> 01:13:09,472 And francs! 974 01:13:15,603 --> 01:13:16,855 Okay. 975 01:13:17,772 --> 01:13:18,815 You'll owe us. 976 01:13:22,235 --> 01:13:25,613 Why don't you make yourself comfortable, guy? I'll be right back. 977 01:13:31,202 --> 01:13:32,245 Miss Piggee? 978 01:13:33,204 --> 01:13:34,664 Yes? 979 01:13:34,831 --> 01:13:36,166 It's Igby. 980 01:13:38,001 --> 01:13:40,837 Ollie Slocumb's younger brother... 981 01:13:42,005 --> 01:13:44,758 Of course! 982 01:13:47,010 --> 01:13:50,180 How is Ollie? Columbia, right? 983 01:13:50,764 --> 01:13:51,848 Right. 984 01:13:52,599 --> 01:13:55,352 We're all hoping that once he's healed from the accident... 985 01:13:55,435 --> 01:13:56,936 that he'll be able to... 986 01:13:57,020 --> 01:13:59,689 lead a fairly normal life and be able to go back to a... 987 01:13:59,773 --> 01:14:00,774 Oh, no! 988 01:14:02,233 --> 01:14:03,401 What happened? 989 01:14:04,527 --> 01:14:07,238 Apparently, as far as anyone can tell... 990 01:14:07,322 --> 01:14:11,409 he was 10-speeding a gazillion miles an hour through Central Park... 991 01:14:11,493 --> 01:14:14,120 racing with all the other Young Turks. 992 01:14:14,537 --> 01:14:19,501 He apparently caught his own reflection in the handlebar mirror, and became so... 993 01:14:19,834 --> 01:14:22,921 aroused by it that he burst his Speedo shorts... 994 01:14:23,004 --> 01:14:27,092 which then got caught in the gears and just threw him on his face, splatter. 995 01:14:27,258 --> 01:14:31,680 Luckily, someone had the presence of mind to scrape his face off the pavement... 996 01:14:31,763 --> 01:14:33,098 and put it on ice. 997 01:14:33,181 --> 01:14:36,309 Doctors were able to graft most of it back... - I'm sorry. 998 01:14:40,230 --> 01:14:42,065 And you... 999 01:14:43,400 --> 01:14:45,151 This is what you're up to. 1000 01:14:45,568 --> 01:14:47,237 Bigger-picture Darwinism. 1001 01:14:49,197 --> 01:14:51,157 You two know each other. 1002 01:14:51,366 --> 01:14:53,076 Wow! 1003 01:14:54,327 --> 01:14:58,039 Igby Slocumb was in my art class. He was one of my students. 1004 01:14:58,498 --> 01:15:02,043 You used to call me Miss Piggy, didn't you? 1005 01:15:02,377 --> 01:15:03,461 Yeah. 1006 01:15:09,217 --> 01:15:11,094 Do you want me to cut this for you? 1007 01:15:16,891 --> 01:15:18,018 Fuck! 1008 01:15:22,439 --> 01:15:23,523 Lucky Charms? 1009 01:15:23,898 --> 01:15:24,899 What? 1010 01:15:24,983 --> 01:15:27,819 Fuckin' Lucky Charms! 1011 01:15:28,236 --> 01:15:29,779 I don't know. 1012 01:15:39,831 --> 01:15:41,541 Psycho bitch! 1013 01:15:44,127 --> 01:15:46,755 What did you do with her Lucky Charms? 1014 01:15:47,255 --> 01:15:48,506 Nothing. 1015 01:15:50,717 --> 01:15:52,385 She's a bit upset. 1016 01:15:53,261 --> 01:15:57,640 Her one-woman show wasn't terribly well received at The Pyramid tonight. 1017 01:15:58,433 --> 01:15:59,768 Really? 1018 01:16:00,018 --> 01:16:02,645 The world isn't ready for Peeka! 1019 01:16:03,104 --> 01:16:04,898 No? - I told her. 1020 01:16:05,482 --> 01:16:08,610 Lorna Luft was just too fucking obscure. 1021 01:16:08,943 --> 01:16:11,112 People just think you're doing a bad Liza. 1022 01:16:11,863 --> 01:16:14,908 I love Lorna. - Me, too. 1023 01:16:22,499 --> 01:16:24,250 Your brother is looking for you. 1024 01:16:27,337 --> 01:16:28,880 Your mom is dying. 1025 01:16:28,963 --> 01:16:30,090 Yeah? 1026 01:16:33,009 --> 01:16:34,010 Yeah. 1027 01:16:35,512 --> 01:16:37,639 You know what you have to think of it as? 1028 01:16:37,722 --> 01:16:38,848 What? 1029 01:16:40,475 --> 01:16:42,602 Like an act of God. 1030 01:16:44,187 --> 01:16:46,773 If there were a God, he'd have acted a lot sooner. 1031 01:16:46,856 --> 01:16:48,983 What? - Nothing. 1032 01:16:51,236 --> 01:16:53,947 He left you a ticket. - Excellent. 1033 01:16:54,030 --> 01:16:55,490 It's non-refundable. 1034 01:16:55,990 --> 01:16:57,867 He wanted me to tell you that. 1035 01:16:58,076 --> 01:16:59,160 Dick. 1036 01:17:30,025 --> 01:17:32,027 I gotta take a piss. 1037 01:17:42,620 --> 01:17:43,872 Toilet paper? 1038 01:17:46,708 --> 01:17:47,667 Here. 1039 01:17:48,043 --> 01:17:49,210 It's Russel's. 1040 01:17:51,296 --> 01:17:52,964 How are you doing? 1041 01:17:53,715 --> 01:17:56,593 I'm pretty sensational, actually. 1042 01:17:57,719 --> 01:17:59,179 And you? 1043 01:18:00,138 --> 01:18:01,181 Good. 1044 01:18:01,890 --> 01:18:02,891 Really. 1045 01:18:04,142 --> 01:18:05,226 But... 1046 01:18:07,896 --> 01:18:09,522 How is D.H.? 1047 01:18:11,858 --> 01:18:13,318 Does he miss me? 1048 01:18:14,152 --> 01:18:17,322 I haven't spoken to him since... - I bet he does. 1049 01:18:23,578 --> 01:18:25,705 You're cute. 1050 01:18:39,969 --> 01:18:41,221 Come on. 1051 01:18:43,098 --> 01:18:44,182 Down. 1052 01:18:54,943 --> 01:18:56,027 What? 1053 01:18:56,945 --> 01:18:58,571 Your poor mother. 1054 01:19:11,001 --> 01:19:14,087 I've been hoarding Seconal like a proper junkie. 1055 01:19:14,462 --> 01:19:15,755 I'm ready. 1056 01:19:16,464 --> 01:19:18,508 It's time to round up your brother. 1057 01:19:59,132 --> 01:20:00,383 What's this? 1058 01:20:00,633 --> 01:20:02,427 An ice-cream sundae. 1059 01:20:03,345 --> 01:20:04,637 I accept. 1060 01:20:08,350 --> 01:20:11,061 I'm going to DC this weekend and kill my mother. 1061 01:20:11,519 --> 01:20:12,896 I'm shocked. 1062 01:20:15,273 --> 01:20:16,775 Ollie called me. 1063 01:20:17,692 --> 01:20:19,694 Apparently, he called everybody. 1064 01:20:19,778 --> 01:20:21,154 Stole your thunder. 1065 01:20:21,196 --> 01:20:22,697 Asshole. 1066 01:20:25,033 --> 01:20:29,037 This must be very hard on you. - Not as fucking hard as it's gonna be on her. 1067 01:20:29,120 --> 01:20:32,457 You're just angry and confused. - Oh, my God, don't do that to me. 1068 01:20:32,540 --> 01:20:34,751 What? - Psych 101 me. 1069 01:20:34,834 --> 01:20:37,837 You're a furious boy. I mean, eventually you won't be a boy... 1070 01:20:37,921 --> 01:20:40,632 and it'll eat you up. - Furious boy? 1071 01:20:40,924 --> 01:20:44,511 The thought that I'm going to live my life without... 1072 01:20:44,594 --> 01:20:48,515 ever having told her to fuck off, is pretty goddamn infuriating. 1073 01:21:02,237 --> 01:21:03,988 Do you hate my guts? 1074 01:21:04,698 --> 01:21:06,282 For a month I did. 1075 01:21:06,491 --> 01:21:08,410 Now you're not even in my top five. 1076 01:21:08,868 --> 01:21:09,953 Good. 1077 01:21:10,161 --> 01:21:11,705 I missed you. 1078 01:21:13,832 --> 01:21:16,543 My life is, I don't know. 1079 01:21:16,751 --> 01:21:18,378 I'm drowning in assholes. 1080 01:21:19,587 --> 01:21:21,172 I'm your friend. 1081 01:21:24,384 --> 01:21:26,261 Listen, after... 1082 01:21:27,053 --> 01:21:29,139 I'm not coming back. Not to New York. 1083 01:21:29,639 --> 01:21:30,849 I know. 1084 01:21:33,101 --> 01:21:35,270 Can we go to your mom's apartment and have sex? 1085 01:21:35,353 --> 01:21:36,354 No! 1086 01:21:36,813 --> 01:21:39,315 You think that'll make you feel better? It won't. 1087 01:21:39,399 --> 01:21:42,485 It'll just make you feel really empty and sad. 1088 01:21:43,653 --> 01:21:45,613 You're better off masturbating. 1089 01:21:51,494 --> 01:21:53,163 Thank you for coming down. 1090 01:21:53,705 --> 01:21:56,041 Didn't want to fuck up my inheritance, did I? 1091 01:21:57,792 --> 01:21:59,753 Ollie has talked to you? 1092 01:22:03,006 --> 01:22:05,508 He explained what is to take place? 1093 01:22:05,633 --> 01:22:09,387 He said something about bludgeoning you with a phone, but he didn't really... 1094 01:22:09,471 --> 01:22:11,306 go into specifics. 1095 01:22:20,148 --> 01:22:24,319 The irony is that I took for granted I'd outlive you all. 1096 01:22:24,402 --> 01:22:27,489 You'd think, in this family, that I would be the least likely. 1097 01:22:28,323 --> 01:22:31,618 Jason, happy as a clam. He'll live forever in the institution, you... 1098 01:22:31,701 --> 01:22:34,746 You know, just because you're dying, I'm not going to apologize. 1099 01:22:34,829 --> 01:22:37,415 Not for anything that I've ever done. 1100 01:22:39,292 --> 01:22:41,461 Why do you want me to be here, Mother? 1101 01:22:43,421 --> 01:22:44,881 Comic relief? 1102 01:23:11,449 --> 01:23:13,243 I'm going for a walk. 1103 01:23:22,585 --> 01:23:25,255 Ollie, what are you drinking? - Scotch. 1104 01:23:25,630 --> 01:23:26,840 Scotch! 1105 01:23:28,800 --> 01:23:31,720 I guess D.H. told you. - What? 1106 01:23:32,053 --> 01:23:36,307 We've decided to bump all those incredibly prominent and... 1107 01:23:36,391 --> 01:23:40,770 terribly chic persons that you were expecting to speak at your memorial, and... 1108 01:23:40,979 --> 01:23:43,148 have me speak for two hours or so. 1109 01:23:43,231 --> 01:23:44,983 What a clever idea. 1110 01:23:45,734 --> 01:23:48,028 You do understand, though, don't you, that... 1111 01:23:48,111 --> 01:23:52,907 it is customary in a eulogy to at least make reference to the deceased? 1112 01:23:53,241 --> 01:23:55,035 I intend to, Mother. 1113 01:23:56,119 --> 01:23:57,579 Time permitting. 1114 01:24:02,917 --> 01:24:04,711 Are we ready? 1115 01:24:06,129 --> 01:24:07,464 Shall we do this? 1116 01:24:09,799 --> 01:24:13,386 You know, once we start, you must get as much inside you as possible. 1117 01:24:13,428 --> 01:24:15,722 We've been through this. 1118 01:24:17,223 --> 01:24:19,434 I don't want to have to do this again. 1119 01:24:31,654 --> 01:24:35,950 Is that strawberry? I thought the idea was to stop me from vomiting up the poison. 1120 01:24:43,625 --> 01:24:44,751 Wait. 1121 01:24:48,088 --> 01:24:50,757 I take it you know D.H. is your father. 1122 01:24:52,550 --> 01:24:53,593 No. 1123 01:24:53,635 --> 01:24:56,429 Then I'm really glad I told you. 1124 01:24:58,181 --> 01:24:59,933 Make yum-yum. 1125 01:25:20,120 --> 01:25:22,539 Much love, all right? 1126 01:26:48,833 --> 01:26:51,378 C'mon, wake up! 1127 01:26:58,551 --> 01:27:00,178 Come on! 1128 01:27:07,143 --> 01:27:08,478 I'm sorry. 1129 01:27:39,009 --> 01:27:40,260 Listen... 1130 01:27:41,928 --> 01:27:45,473 Do you wanna see the body before they come to collect it? 1131 01:27:54,858 --> 01:27:56,317 I've seen it. 1132 01:28:22,761 --> 01:28:23,928 Excuse me. 1133 01:28:30,852 --> 01:28:32,771 Hello, Mrs. Hathaway? 1134 01:28:34,105 --> 01:28:36,232 This is Jason Slocumb, Jr. 1135 01:28:41,029 --> 01:28:42,739 I'm afraid she can't. 1136 01:28:43,448 --> 01:28:44,949 'Cause she's dead. 1137 01:28:45,367 --> 01:28:48,661 He's always enjoyed being the bearer of bad tidings. 1138 01:28:53,958 --> 01:28:56,169 Hello, Mrs. Bittle. It's Igby. 1139 01:28:57,337 --> 01:29:00,256 Lf you could sign this release. - I'd love to, Mrs. Bittle... 1140 01:29:00,340 --> 01:29:01,841 but she's dead. 1141 01:29:18,316 --> 01:29:19,567 Great job. 1142 01:29:20,151 --> 01:29:21,194 Thank you. 1143 01:29:21,695 --> 01:29:22,862 Aunt Penelope? 1144 01:29:23,655 --> 01:29:26,908 It's Igby. - This all seems to be in order. 1145 01:29:27,826 --> 01:29:29,244 I'm in Washington. 1146 01:29:29,994 --> 01:29:32,997 This is for you and your helpers. 1147 01:29:33,081 --> 01:29:36,001 Thank you very much. That's very generous of you. 1148 01:29:38,795 --> 01:29:41,715 I'm sure she'd love to, Aunt Penelope. 1149 01:29:41,756 --> 01:29:44,259 Except for one thing. 1150 01:30:05,530 --> 01:30:07,907 Yes, Aunt Penelope, I'm sure she was. 1151 01:30:09,451 --> 01:30:10,702 Tuesday. 1152 01:30:11,161 --> 01:30:12,328 Thank you. 1153 01:30:13,204 --> 01:30:14,289 Bye-bye. 1154 01:30:21,004 --> 01:30:22,505 It's ironic... 1155 01:30:24,341 --> 01:30:27,594 that the first time in my entire life that I feel... 1156 01:30:27,635 --> 01:30:30,638 remotely affectionate toward her is when she's dead. 1157 01:30:33,975 --> 01:30:35,894 You beat up her corpse. 1158 01:30:37,354 --> 01:30:38,897 After that. 1159 01:30:39,814 --> 01:30:42,734 The service is in two days. You can stay in your old room. 1160 01:30:42,817 --> 01:30:44,944 You killed her. You bury her. 1161 01:30:46,654 --> 01:30:48,031 I'm joking. 1162 01:30:49,407 --> 01:30:53,536 Listen, I've got this discount fare, and... 1163 01:30:54,329 --> 01:30:56,623 it'd be kinda hypocritical of me. 1164 01:30:57,082 --> 01:30:58,291 You know. 1165 01:30:59,334 --> 01:31:02,629 You'll handle it like everything else, right? - Right. 1166 01:31:04,673 --> 01:31:06,007 You should hate me. 1167 01:31:06,174 --> 01:31:07,384 I don't. 1168 01:31:07,509 --> 01:31:09,636 You should. - I don't hate you. 1169 01:31:09,803 --> 01:31:11,346 Don't be indulgent. 1170 01:31:11,846 --> 01:31:13,014 Never that. 1171 01:31:14,641 --> 01:31:18,103 You're going to California? - Yep. The Sunshine State. 1172 01:31:18,186 --> 01:31:20,855 Actually, Florida's the Sunshine State. 1173 01:31:21,231 --> 01:31:22,440 Really? 1174 01:31:24,234 --> 01:31:26,319 Three thousand fuckin' miles away from here. 1175 01:31:26,528 --> 01:31:28,697 Is there a number where we can reach you? 1176 01:31:28,780 --> 01:31:30,240 We? No. 1177 01:31:30,782 --> 01:31:32,575 You'll call when there is. 1178 01:31:38,581 --> 01:31:41,251 There really isn't that much between us, is there? 1179 01:31:42,210 --> 01:31:44,671 Just an ever-diminishing amount of blood. 1180 01:31:48,925 --> 01:31:50,010 Bye. 1181 01:31:55,181 --> 01:31:56,516 Well done. 1182 01:32:50,653 --> 01:39:07,364 KinGsub: Subtitle fix http://www.geocities.com/gogoldmine